"Are
you there, God? Come on out! I got a bone to pick with you! A bone --
hah! That's a good one! I got a million bones to pick with you, pal! All
the bones in the world! This is all your fault! That's right! You
coulda stopped it -- why didn't you? Eh? You're so all-damn powerful,
why didn't you do something? Have you seen what it's like out there?
Have you? Well, I'll tell you, pal! If there is a God then you gotta be
one twisted, evil son of a bitch! Damn you! Come on! I'm not afraid of
you! Strike me down! Gimme the big zap! What are you waiting for? Had
enough death? Sickened even yourself? Don't worry! You'll be doing me a
favor! I don't any part of this. I don't want to be the last American..." -- Ulysses S. Pilgrim
"The Last American" (hereby abbreviated TLA for brevity’s
sake) was a four issue comic written by John Wagner and Alan Grant with two
issues being done by each author supposedly at the end of their professional
relationship (a relationship that was rapidly sinking against the jagged rocks of artistic differences).
Mike McMahon was the
artist for all four issues.
Published by
Epic Comics from December of 1990 to March of 1991, TLA was a four issue limited run that left off with a slightly
open-ending. I became interested in this
particular work for the primary reason that it fulfilled two of my strongest fascinations
… waking up from long term suspended animation in a strange, new world (ala Rip
Van Winkle) and the post apocalypse. I've always been fascinated with stories about ordinary people thrust into environments beyond their control and often times beyond their understanding.
The story of TLA centers on Ulysses S. Pilgrim, a disgraced US Army
soldier in military prison for some unknown but obviously severe crime. Pilgrim is chosen to be the last American, a
project which will put him in suspended animation for 20 years deep inside a
hardened bunker in order to (hopefully) survive World War III. At the time of Pilgrim being chosen for the
project, for whatever reasons, global nuclear war is imminent and unavoidable
and time is running out. Pilgrim is
whisked away from his family, put into the bunker with enough supplies to
weather the coming war, and given the task of waking up in 20 years to begin
the rebuilding the United
States of America.
The story begins on July 4, 2019, at twelve noon, twenty
years after the nuclear war. Pilgrim
wakes up in a bunker, attended to by a likable robot valet / Man-Friday named “Charlie” who
is obsessed with pop culture (the robot has had twenty years to absorb all the substantial
archive of recorded pop media that the bunker has to offer) as well as two
large, gruff, all business-like, no-nonsense combat robots named “Able” and “Baker” (A, B,
and C for you non-military types).
Charlie serves as Pilgrim’s personal valet and as a go-between for
Pilgrim and the two combat robots.
Pilgrim’s first questions when he wakes up is “Who
won?” Before he can receive an answer from
Charlie he admonishes himself that what he just asked was a pretty stupid
question, in hind sight.
Waking up and leaving the bunker, Pilgrim and his three
robot companions travel the devastated America in a large, squat, armored
ATV. They find nothing but destruction
and desolation. Along the way, Pilgrim
has flashbacks and memories of his life before he went into suspended
animation. We learn of the life he left
behind, his wife, his young son. He
pines for them during his travels, even almost visiting the place where he and
his wife first met by accident (he ran over her bicycle with his VW bug). Along the way, the destruction and
devastation are so great that Pilgrim has trouble dealing with the immensity of
the fate of the human race.
When offered
a bottle of whiskey he proceeds to get drunk and curse God. His fourth travelling companion, a
hallucination, a figment of his imagination, is Bert the Turtle from the old
Civil Defense films of the 1950’s. Bert
becomes his best friend and talks to him all the time, often serving as a
filter to help Pilgrim understand the situation that he is in and the situations
that he finds himself in. This seems to
upset the two combat robots and concerns Charlie who sees Pilgrim’s continual
backwards mental slide as some kind of failure on Charlie’s part to take care
of Pilgrim during his 20 year long hibernation.
Able: "It ain't my job to be worried about his state of health but if it was my job to be worried I'd BE worried."
Charlie: "Oh, Doctor Kildare! You're so handsome when you diagnose!"
With only four issues to tell a story I won’t ruin it by
giving a complete summary of the story, suffice to say that if you like
post-apocalyptic stories then TLA is a little bundle of pure PA candy.
TLA is a great post-apocalyptic treasure and at just four
issues it doesn’t take a deep wallet to add it to your collection or a lot of time to add it to your memories. The designs of the robots and the ATV are
solid if a bit whimsical but Pilgrim’s uniform looks more for show than actual
use. He is a caricature of America, even
more so than Uncle Sam ever was.
All in all, TLA is solid and is one of those lost gems that would make a great movie, even if it only made it as a low budget, CGI heavy movie in the same league as most Sci-Fi channel movies. Hell, you could make this movie with only a handful of people and I'd suggest the more less well-known the better. The robots would be simple to build or even easier to just CGI together, ditto for the ATV and the PA backdrops.
